If You're Spending Your Day Judging Strangers, We Need to Talk

Lately, I've found myself asking the same question over and over again:

Why are so many people spending so much time tearing down people they don't even know?

Seriously.

Scroll through any celebrity post, news story, viral video, or social media comment section and you'll find people ready to unleash their opinions. Not thoughtful discussion. Not constructive criticism. Just judgment, cruelty, assumptions, and hate. And what fascinates me isn't necessarily the celebrity, influencer, or public figure on the receiving end of it. It's the person behind the keyboard.

Because I can't help but wonder, what makes someone take time out of their day to publicly criticize a complete stranger? Not only think the thought, but type it, post it, and share it with the world. Why? Is it attention? Is it insecurity? Is it a temporary dopamine rush from getting likes and validation from others who agree? Is it easier to focus on someone else's flaws, than to look at your own life?

I genuinely don't know the answer for everyone, but I do know this: happy, fulfilled, grounded people rarely spend their days trying to make other people feel small.

They just don't.

People who are deeply connected to themselves are usually too busy creating, growing, loving, learning, exploring, building, healing, and living to obsess over tearing someone else apart. Their energy is directed toward what lights them up, not what brings someone else down.

What's even more interesting is that most of the people being judged are complete strangers. We don't know what they're carrying. We don't know what happened before that photo was taken, that interview was filmed, or that post was shared. We don't know their struggles, their heartbreaks, their fears, or the battles they're fighting behind closed doors. Yet, somehow we've created a culture where people feel entitled to dissect every detail of another person's life, as though they know the whole story.

The older I get, the more I realize that judgment often says far more about the person judging, than the person being judged.

When someone constantly feels the need to criticize, shame, mock, or attack others, there's often a wound underneath it. Maybe it's pain that hasn't been processed. Maybe it's disappointment, insecurity, resentment, or unhappiness that hasn't been acknowledged. Whatever it is, it rarely has anything to do with the person they're targeting.

Because when you're truly at peace with yourself, you stop needing everyone else to be wrong.

That's why my response to so much of the negativity I see online is surprisingly simple: heal your wounds, people.

Not as an insult. Not as a dismissal. But as a genuine invitation.

Imagine if all of the energy spent criticizing strangers was redirected toward creating a life you actually love. Imagine if every hateful comment became an hour spent pursuing a dream, learning something new, strengthening a relationship, starting a business, writing a book, taking a walk, volunteering, or simply doing the inner work that leads to real happiness.

How different would your life look?

How different would the world look?

One of the core beliefs behind the Live Be Shine philosophy is that we are all responsible for our own light. Not someone else's. Our own. Your happiness is your responsibility. Your healing is your responsibility. Your growth is your responsibility.

That doesn't mean life is easy. It doesn't mean we won't experience hurt, disappointment, rejection, or pain. We all do. But there comes a point where we have to decide whether we're going to project that pain outward, or transform it into something better.

When we choose healing over bitterness, we don't just change ourselves…we change the energy we leave behind for others.

Every minute spent obsessing over someone else's life is a minute you're not investing in your own. And life is far too short and far too precious for that.

So the next time you're tempted to judge someone you've never met, maybe pause for a moment and ask a different question: What part of me needs attention right now? What am I avoiding? What wound is asking to be healed?

The answer probably has very little to do with the celebrity, influencer, neighbor, coworker, or stranger on your screen.

And everything to do with you.

Live your life. Love your people. Follow what lights you up. Heal what hurts. Let others do the same.

The world doesn't need more critics.

It needs more healed humans.